Wal-Mart Self-Checkout Lane

The Lober Messiah recently posted an article about the self-checkout line at Wal-Mart that is dead-on. Here are the rules I think should be listed above the self-checkout area:

- If you are buying produce, go to a real person. Produce doesn't have a bar code (unless it's been genetically engineered to have a bar code and in that case it's Frankenfood anyway and you don't want it).
- If you are not paying with plastic, go to a real person. All other forms of payment are too complicated.
- If you are buying alcohol or cigarettes, go to a real person. Sorry teenagers!
- If you have more than 10 items, go to a real person. They've been scanning barcodes much longer than you and they're better at it.
- If you are not tech savvy, go to a real person.
- If you've ever worn fishing lure ear rings, please read the previous bullet and go to a real person!
- If you are retired, go to a real person.
- If you can't read, GO TO A REAL PERSON!